What do you do....? Autism Parenting

What do you do, as an autism parent, when your son needs more help and understanding than people are giving him? It's the first month of school and he has been suspended, sent home and has been held from riding the bus on three occasions.
Let me back up a little.
We are living with family, big change.
He's in a new school, big change.
Nothing at this school is remotely like his old school, biiiig change.
Oh and he's 10 and going through some hormonal changes.
So, his whole world is upside down.
Maybe he needs a med change. But I feel this school might not be right for him. It seems as though they aren't trying to get to know him at all. I'm at a loss. We haven't had this many behavior problems in over a year.
I feel like it's my fault. Like my decision to move is what caused this. But again, he was fine all summer.
So what now?
Well for one, I stop blaming myself. It's not my fault and it's not his fault either. I'm not blaming anyone directly because its likely several factors and because...autism.
Now we are going to have an IEP meeting and will discuss more ways of handling the aggression and what may be triggering it.
I'm currently waiting on his doctor to return my call.
I brought him home and helped him calm down, now he's relaxing on his own.
My job is done for the moment.
There is nothing more I can do right now except...take care of myself. Go through my own feelings about what happened and then relax. That's it.
As autism parents we have to learn that some things are in our control, and others are not. And sometimes we can only control so much of a situation before we have to give it up because....autism.
I'm getting a soda and I'm going to chill until the doctor calls.
Because...mom needs a break.

The forest for the trees...

I realize no one reads this.... Yet. One day someone might stumble across it by accident but right now, it's just me.

But I'm thing to share something right now that I feel needs to be shared, maybe it will help someone one day.

I've been down on my luck, it happens. I'm a single mother. I have a special needs child. I have very little support from friends and family. And I try to work as much as I can without child care.
Life is hard. Right now we are living with family after moving from an apartment we loved in for two years, that had bed bugs. The landlord wouldn't get rid of them and I couldn't afford to move. But when my sister had a free room I jumped on it.
So here we are. I'm sharing a room with my son. I had to leave a lot of our things behind and it was hard. Some is in storage but a lot is gone. I'm having a hard time finding a new place in my price range near my son's new school. He seems to be enjoying the school though. That's a plus.
I feel stuck. I know there's a way for time to work out I just can't see the forest for the trees. The solution is out there, I know it. I just have to work harder and keep my eyes open.
And that's the point. Giving up and not even trying would be so easy. But I can't do that because this kid who has no idea why his world got turned upside down, is counting on me to put it right again. I'm the one who is suppose to make things okay. So I have to try harder.
No matter what you are going through, don't give up. Keep searching for that solution. It is out there, you just have to look hard enough to look past your fees and worries to see it.

Blogging is Hard.... But I'll try

So this blog was just for the funny. I can never keep up with writing blogs. I tried and failed so many times. However I'm going to give it another go. I am not going to just be funny here. I'm going to try to give everyone a look at my life.
Single mom, autistic Prince, just trying to get by. So I'll try to update daily now and we will see how many people will actually read this.

Right now, as I'm writing this my son has a bucket on his head watching Teen Titans Go and repeating over and over "no doctor?" Despite the fact that he is fine now and the upset stomach he was sent home with seems fine. But he can't return to school for 24hrs now so I'll get to hear "no doctor" all day tomorrow.

It's fine. Really. I do my best not to discourage him from saying anything. It's hard though after the millionth time and he expects an answer, every time. So I answer.

That's something you have to learn as a parent in general. Not just an ASD-Rent. You have to learn patience. You have to learn what to time out and what to respond to. You have to learn that your response means everything to the kid at that moment.
I'm still learning. I think as a Rent, you're always learning. My dad would probably agree to that.

With that, I'm going to watch some cartoons with Prince and get ready for bed.

COOKING?!

My son thinks he is a chef. Maybe he wants to be one day but right now, he is 8. I have no problem letting him help me cook. But he doesn't want to do that. 

No. Every time I get an onion out he thinks its time to cut cut cut. He can dice an onion like a whiz. You may have to pick most of it out of the floor, but still. 

He wanted soup the other day. He doesn't eat soup. But he wanted it. Thinking he might eat it if he has asked for it, and got the celery out of the fridge, I commenced to making soup. I happen to make a great veggie beef soup that cooks up quickly. It tastes like our school soup we use to love as kids. So he helps me cut up the celery, gets made because I was helping him this time instead of just letting him hack away, and trumps off. I make soup. The neighbor boy eats three bowls of soup. My Prince, looks at it and runs off. Doesn't touch a bite. 

Then I figured out why he wanted the soup. Despereaux. He has been watching The Tale of Despereaux over and over and he wanted to be like the chef and make amazing soup for soup day. 

He has also been watching the little Disney snips that show you how to make fun meals. We've tried some of these. I can never get them work well. 

Oh did I say we? No I meant me. I try to make these things to get him interested in foods, but he starts and then runs off again. The kid is an eating machine, but only when it comes to mac n cheese, mashed potatoes and  burgers. So yes, I make the crappy ooey gooey mess, and he doesn't even eat it. 

He has been watching the Ratatouille snipet a lot lately, I am not looking forward to making that. Or eating it. I hate squash. UGH!  

Snowballs in July!!!

Today was a horrible day. My son, who has autism, has been crazily eating everything in sight for months now. He has gained an obscene amount of weight. I am trying my best to get him to ease up and introduce lower fat foods and all that. It is very hard to do with his picky eating.

Now I was on the couch today and I can't see the fridge from where I was. It was quiet and I had sat down for a moment as today was overly exhausting. We had already had a few meltdowns and I was so tired. The next thing I know, I hear.....
"Snowball fight!" and get covered in sugar....
Its in my hair, its on the couch. He runs back to his room and comes back
"Snowball fight!" and another handful of sugar falls on my head.

Somehow Prince manages, without me hearing him because he is sneaky as heck....to pull a chair over to the fridge and get the sugar container down. Now, don't ridicule me for not hearing him. Between the TV and his "phone" playing annoying orange as loud as it will go, it gets loud in here and like I said, he's sneaky. He had the sugar container on the kitchen table and about three handfuls on his play table in his room!

Not even an hour later he is standing in front of the open fridge with the Hershey's syrup turned upside down!  Seriously the kid is not starving people! I promise!

Sharing with those you love.

My son has never been the best person to share, anything.  He thinks that everything he sees is his, always has. But since preschool he has started learning that sharing is nice and we share our things with our friends.
His longest friend would be our cat.  Now this poor cat has been through a lot.  It was born small and with a crook paw, has half a tail, two different colored eyes; one of which has no "shine".  My son has tormented his poor thing since it was born.  Throwing him, carrying him around, pulling his fur.  And you know, the cat never really fights back. He doesn't scratch or bite at my son. He just lets the kid do what he wants and then goes on. Stupid cat still comes back for more though.  Its as if the cat knows that he and my son are both unique and gifted. 

Yes this has a point.
My son, had a stick of candy the other day.  The foot long Laffy Taffy. And while he told his mommy and daddy they couldn't have any, he thought he would share with the cat.  So he shoves the candy right into the cats face, trying again and again to force the cat to eat it.  My poor cat just pulls his head farther and farther back until he can't move it anymore. And my son is still shoving the candy, nearly up the cats nose! 
Then, the cat makes a mistake. He opened his mouth to hiss at the candy stick and my son dives right in. Forcing the candy down the cat's throat!
Now the cat still doesn't want the candy but my son makes sure he gets a good taste of it. The kid starts rolling the cats tongue around with the candy stick trying to get him to bite it I suppose but when he finally gets the point. When he realizes the kitty doesn't want the candy, he takes it out of the cats mouth. AND PUTS IT IN HIS OWN!
Yes world, my son tried to feed his kitty candy, and then ate the cat drooled stick of candy himself. I am so proud of him for sharing!

That poor, poor fish. R.I.P. Snook

My son got his first beta fish. It was a late Christmas gift.  We named him Snook.  He was with us for just a short time. But he was a beautiful beta. All different colors and his fins were so long and flowing.

See the story is much the same as any. Kid gets a fish and doesn't understand that you can't actually play with them. They aren't puppies or kittens. You can't pet them, hug them, love them.
But then someone, Aunt Rhinoseeker, sits at the table and just has to keep trying to pet the fish.  She just has to touch him. Now Snook wasn't the play with me type. More of a touch me not. Imagine that!

This gives my son the idea. He has to play with it.
A little later, he is sitting at the table, and starts screaming bloody murder! I have no clue whats wrong but I go in thinking, "he's hurt"!
No. Not even close.

My son, who doesn't understand everything the way most kids his age do, has been playing with Snook alright. There is water all over the table, his pants are wet, and there is Snook, the beautiful beta, floating in the top of the bowl.
His long flowing fins have ALL been ripped off! He was still alive, watching pieces of his fins sink to the bottom of the bowl.
Aunt Rhinoseeker, got the honor of flushing Snook, sending him to the great fish bowl in the sky. Meanwhile, my son, doesn't understand that he murdered his fish. And I have no clue how to explain it to him.